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7 Ways to Wear Your Pyjamas for the School Run

28/1/2016

23 Comments

 
​As Scummy Mummies, we're proud to wear our pyjamas for the school run - and we don't care what certain head teachers have to say about it. But just because you're lazy, doesn't mean you can't be stylish. So here are some ideas for making that morning look even more fashion forward.
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Look 1: "Incognito" 
This is a great look to start with if you're new to wearing your PJs in public. Hide your shame with a stylish hat and some customised shades, and hey presto! No one will ever know it's you. 
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Look 2: "Party Girl"
Straight from disco to drop-off! Give the impression that you've come straight from a fabulous all-nighter. Add a suitcase, and you can pretend you just got off the plane from Ayia Napa. 
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Look 3: "The Middleton"
Demure, sophisticated, elegant - this look is easily achieved with a classy hat. For extra style ​points, borrow your husband's dressing gown, and tell everyone it's "Balmoral check."​
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Look 4: "Blonde Ambition"
Inspired by another great style icon, this look is great for propping up post-breastfeeding boobs. Just make sure you wear it with attitude, or you'll just look like you work in a call centre. 
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Look 5: "Strictly Mum Dancing"
Slip on some satin and waltz your way to the school gates in this jazzy number. A pair of Marigolds make ideal "evening gloves." 
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Look 6: "Rich Bitch"
Pretend you're fabulously wealthy with some subtle accessorising. This look works especially well if you want the neighbours to think your kids go to private school. 
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Look 7: "Whatever the Fuck You Want"
The important thing is that your kids get to school on time. As long as you achieve that, it's really nobody's business whether you're wearing a ball gown or a bin bag. Here at the Scummy Mummies, we prefer gold Lycra catsuits - they're glamorous, flattering, and wipe clean. But ultimately, wear whatever the fuck you want.
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A new episode of The Scummy Mummies Podcast is released every fortnight - listen free via scummymummies.com or  iTunes. We're on Facebook and Twitter - @scummymummies. ​

23 Comments

The Scummy Mummies Podcast: Our Top 10 Episodes

20/1/2016

5 Comments

 
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Hello, fellow Scummy Mummies! And an extra special hello to our new listeners. Seems like quite a few of you have tuned in since hearing about our podcast on Woman's Hour, so welcome!

With more than 60 episodes in our back catalogue, you might be wondering where to start. So we've put together a list of our top 10 shows - the ones that we think represent the full Scummy spectrum, and will give you a good flavour of what the podcast's all about. We hope you enjoy them! 

Educating Stephen Fry, teaching Salman Rushdie the limbo, asking Prince William if he wants tongues... It's all in a day's work for the fabulous Kathy Lette! Kathy tells us what inspires her, and why mothers never get writer's block. 
​We have full and frank discussion about sex, with expert advice from fanny physio Sarah Lorentzen. She gives us her top tips for keeping your downstairs in shape and having sex after childbirth. 
This episode features the fabulous wine expert, Helen McGinn. Helen tells us all about her award-winning blog and best-selling book, The Knackered Mother's Wine Club. 
Acting, accents, having kids and losing your on-screen virginity to Jane Horrocks - this episode covers all these topics and more! With four children and over a decade of parenting experience under his belt, Shaun gives us his top tips for raising kids. 
In this episode we talk to Jane Garvey, presenter of Woman's Hour on BBC Radio 4. She tells us what goes on behind the scenes in Broadcasting House, and reveals the guests she gets nervous about interviewing. 
We talk about what it means to be a dad, with stay-at-home dad Steve Hill, but of course it's not long before the whole thing descends into nonsense. There's some top chat about the price of Lynx, the World Cup and a real-life encounter with Mr. T. ​
Jo tells us what goes on behind the scenes at Glamour and shares an intimate moment she had with Guy Pearce. She also reveals why every woman's magazine editor needs an army of gays. 
Our guest is the fabulous Bryony Gordon, Telegraph  columnist and author of The Wrong Knickers - A Decade of Chaos. We cover some pretty grown-up subjects, from illegal highs and racy underwear to who is fitter out of Bloom or Tumble.
This episode's special guest is Clemmie Hooper, midwife, mum and author of the hit blog, Gas and Air. Helen and Ellie share some of their own labour experiences - tune in to find out why one of them will never again be able to enjoy the music of Bon Jovi. 
In this episode, Ellie discusses the surprise early arrival of her new baby, Joe. Then there's some chat about the highlights of our Scummy year, including best and worst gigs. 

And some more...
​It's been hard to choose ten! So here are some more fabulous guests to have a listen to - comedians Sandi Toksvig and David Baddiel, actor Charlie Condou, Nurse Jessie and Doctor Greg, and columnists Suzanne Moore, Lucy Mangan and Sali Hughes.
A new episode of The Scummy Mummies Podcast is released every fortnight - listen free via scummymummies.com or  iTunes. We're on Facebook and Twitter - @scummymummies. ​
5 Comments

The Love Snap: Sharing a love of stuff with your kids

8/1/2016

12 Comments

 
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Just because a kid was made by your body, with your DNA, there are no guarantees they will be anything like you. Or that they will like the things you like. Let's be frank, sometimes this really sucks balls. Why won't my daughter wear jeans? Why doesn't my son appreciate Chess: The Musical? Why won't they at least try curry sauce on their chips? Shouldn't they have downloaded all this shit during the nine months they were in my womb?
 
I know, I should embrace my children's wonderful unpredictability and respect their individual choices. Even if those choices involve wearing revolting polyester dresses and spending four hours watching YouTube videos of diggers.
 
And to be fair, they have introduced me to a whole new world. I used to be into classical music and gourmet food. Now I'm happy to nod along to One Direction, and eat chicken nuggets the exact shape and colour of Donald Trump's hair.
 
All the same, I can't help feeling a rush of joy when my kids express a liking for something I adored before they were born. I call this the Love Snap. It's that moment when they hear ABBA on the radio and start dancing like lunatics, or properly laugh at The Simpsons, or take their first bite of a Peppermint Aero and run around shouting, "I LOVE THIS!" It just makes my heart want to burst.
 
It's important, though, to respond carefully. Don't do what I do and reply in a massively over-enthusiastic fashion: "YEAH! Isn't it like THE BEST THING EVER???!!!!", so that your kids stop dancing or laughing or eating, and stare at you like the giant weirdo you are. We must remember that as mums, we have the power to make something horrendously uncool and unloved in an instant.
 
Now my kids are four and seven, I treasure each Love Snap moment and hold on to them tightly. I am all too aware that the teenage years are looming. I am bracing myself for all the slamming doors and swearing. I remember being 15, and if my kids are anything like me, they will want to be nothing like me. It's normal, and with a bit of luck, we'll get through it.
 
In recent years, the really great thing has been rediscovering Love Snap moments with my own mother. Now we're older, wiser, and have both been through the experience of parenting, we have discovered new shared loves. I finally understand the wonders of a proper cup of tea, Fortnum and Mason's scones and nice linen.
True, I don't think my mum will ever share a bowl of chips and curry sauce with me. But the more time passes, the more important those Love Snap moments with both my parents and my kids become. Perhaps DNA is stronger than I thought.

A new episode of The Scummy Mummies Podcast is released every fortnight - listen free via scummymummies.com or  iTunes. We're on Facebook and Twitter - @scummymummies. 

12 Comments

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