When I think of yoga, the image that flashes into my tired mum brain is of an elegant woman, standing on her head and bending herself into the shape of a pretzel, next to an elaborate Japanese water feature. I am nothing like this woman. In fact, thanks to the state of my pelvic floor after two childbirths, I have more in common with the water feature.
As a voluptuous and lazy person, the thought of trying to touch my toes fills me with dread. Sure, I can fanny about in a gold leotard all day long, but stick me in a fitness class and I get that weird sicky feeling. I know my 38 year-old body won't bend like it's supposed to, and then of course there's the ultimate terror: the public fart. Why are they always so much louder than the ones you do at home?
I have loads of friends who bang on about how wonderful yoga is, and how great they feel afterwards, blah blah blah. But surely it can't feel better than eating half a packet of Jaffa Cakes in front of Homes Under the Hammer?
However, I know from experience that I am not always right. Things I have been wrong about in the past have included undercut hairstyles, clear Coca-cola, and the potential career longevity of the band 5ive. Now that I'm a bit older, I'm not afraid to swallow my pride, or suck in my stomach. So I decided to give this bendy exercise a half-assed go.
Specifically, I signed up for yogaia.com. They offer online classes that are easy to fit into your schedule. More importantly, they allow you to try yoga without leaving the house, so you can wear your favourite holey old jogging bottoms, and fart as much as you like. I did a 15 minute class using the Yogaia app on my phone, and it was great. And afterwards, I only had to take eight steps to my fridge so I could reward myself with a big glass of Chardonnay. WINNING.
In all seriousness, doing yoga wasn't nearly as scary as I thought, and for once I actually felt like I'd achieved something. I like that there are lots of different classes to choose from, too. The guided meditation was a godsend following a stressful half-term trip to McDonald's that involved two tantrums and a row over a trip to the toilet, then a pee in a Lego Batman cup during the drive home.
So if, like me, you're interested in yoga, but lazy and flatulent, why not give Yogaia a go? They've sponsored our podcast this month, and are offering you the chance to try out the classes for a whole month, free of charge. Just visit www.yogaia.com/scummymummies to sign up.