to a less-than-perfect mum.
Dear Fellow Scummy Mummy,
We know your secrets. We know you gave the kids fish fingers four times in a row last week. We know you drink
wine out of a mug at teatime. We know about the time your son did a sick in Sainsbury's, and you ran away.
We know you forgot your daughter's name when another mum asked, even though she's an only child. We know you used one of your son's toys to fish a poo out of the bath, giving a whole new meaning to the term "dump truck".
We know you sneaked wine into a classical music concert by hiding it in your child's beaker. Or as you call it, the Tommy Tipsy.
We know you breastfeed in front of your health visitor but hide formula in the fridge. We know you pretend not to notice when your child eats chicken nuggets the cat has just licked. We know that right now, there's a dirty nappy in your handbag.
We know about that rainy Thursday when you let your kids watch Madagascar twice in a row, while you sat in the kitchen and did Google image searches for Benedict Cumberbatch.
We know you picked up that raisin you found on the stairs and popped it in your mouth. Only to discover it wasn't a raisin.
We know that one Sunday afternoon, you let the kids cut each other's hair while you finished
We know your child once did a poo in the middle of Debenhams, and you blamed a nearby dog.
We know about all these things because you shared them with us. Some of you emailed them in after listening to our podcast. Some of you confessed your sins in person at The Scummy Mummies Show. Which incidentally is coming to the Camden Fringe on Saturday 23 and Sunday 24 August, tickets available now.
The point is, we've all done things like this. Just ask yourself: is your child happy? Does he know he is loved? Does she have clean knickers on at least 300 days of the year? Then you are doing a good job.
Not one of us is perfect. Not even Kirstie Allsopp. We are all doing our best, and sometimes it doesn't feel like enough. But we keep going, because we are mums. It's what we do.
We might have different parenting styles and standards, but judging each other is a waste of our precious energy. Let's talk to each other instead. Let's share our scummy stories. Let's look at our imperfections and laugh at them. Because there are two things will always unite us: we love our children, and we are all scummy mummies.
Love from the trenches,
The Scummy Mummies
Inspired by 'A letter from a working mum to a stay-at-home mum, and vice versa.'